Like most people, when faced with a blank page, we aren't sure where to start. The last formal class I took on writing was a Comp 1001 class in college. The only tool I learned from that class to handle the blank page issue was to create an outline, but I cannot seem to bring myself to do that.
When I first started this project, I thought I would journal my life experiences. I started to wonder if anyone would really care about my life experiences. I even got some feedback that no one would, harsh, right. I was left wondering, what did I have to offer that was unique? There are billions of people in this world, and my experiences aren't truly unique. I am old enough to know that my experiences are shared, and so many others have gone through what I have.
That brings me right back to the question of what am I doing here. What am I trying to share, and what am I trying to accomplish? I am not sure if I know the answer to those questions yet. This is why this site has remained quiet for so long.
A few years after I attempted to start this site, I went through a major life-changing event that left me shaken. Again, the life-changing event that left me shaken was not unique, and mine was on the mild side, to be honest. Millions of people a year survive life-threatening situations that leave them shaken. After these events, the cliches are driven home-like life is short. You are left questioning your life decisions. These life-changing events are a wake-up call. They drive home that you better not wait until tomorrow to do the important things because now you genuinely understand that tomorrow is not guaranteed. Sorry for all the cliches.
That life-changing event left me wanting to start this site again, but I wasn't sure where to start. I started to write again but ended up abandoning the work. This left me feeling defeated.
Life marches on, and suddenly it's been 4 years since I intended to start this project, and I have done pretty much nothing. Then another life-changing event hit. Again not unique, but still traumatic all the same. And again, all these thoughts of things to write up came flooding in.
A lightbulb finally went off that what I want to accomplish is letting people know that others have the same shared experiences. Recently on an app, a neighbor sent out a message about how she lost her husband of 20 years unexpectedly. You could tell she felt alone in her grief. People started sharing how they had lost loved ones in the same time frame. Multiple people shared how they lost their husbands within weeks of her loss and shared where they were at with their grief. Others sent messages of support and condolences, like a retired hospice nurse who even provided some information about support groups she could attend. The post's author was lost and needed to find others with her shared experience.
With that, I am going to try to do this again. I have no shortage of shared experiences to write about. I just need to find the time and the courage to be vulnerable with the world. The world seems like a pretty cold-mean place at the moment, and putting yourself out there doesn't feel safe. On the other hand, I will never know the outcome without taking a risk and doing it. I guess I want to try it out and see what happens. Hopefully, I can connect with a few people either because they have had the same experiences or are looking to understand an experience that someone else has had.
